Happy New Year!

Here we are again. Another year passed and a new one just to begin. New resolutions made and old ones broken once again. Why do we even bother? 
I suppose because we love the feeling of a new year, new beginnings. You get a chance to forget everything you didn't do last year and focus on starting over. I love how the new trend is to not make resolutions, since you always break them. The new thing is to say "well I'm not promising anything, but in general for next year I'm gonna be more healthy and do this and that..." the exact same thing as making a new years resolution, just without promising to fulfill it.  
Anyways, I'm happy to let go of 2014. It was a difficult year for me and I'm looking forward to letting it go and moving forward. May 2015 be better and may I be better with it. I have had a hard time accepting everything that happened to me (some things I made happen to myself). I've had an especially hard time accepting that I will never be able to change what happened. 2014 will never come back and in my memory it will always be a tough year with more bad memories than good ones.  
I'm forcing myself to accept that there is nothing more I can do about it. I'm going in to 2015 with open arms determined to have a better year than the last one. I'm taking with me some valuable lessons I've learned, some great memories I do have from last year but most of all I'm taking with me the will to not go back in to the darkness. If there's one thing I'm sure of it is that I never want to end up in the same place again, and I never want to have that feeling again that a whole year feels nearly wasted because I didn't feel well enough to do anything with it. 
So, my resolution for 2015 is this: 
- I'm going to keep working hard at staying healthy and happy. 
- I'm going to work harder at living in the present and accept that some things are out of my control. 
- I'm going to let myself do whatever makes me happy, too much energy is wasted on things that don't make us feel good, and feeling good and happy is all that matters.
- My most important resolution however is this. Remember that it's okay. It's all okay. It's okay that I was depressed most of 2014. It's okay that things take time and that sometimes things don't go as planned. But most of all, It's okay to be who I am, and do what I want. Nobody else is going to be me, so instead of trying to change me, I need to embrace it and enjoy being me. And accept both the good and the bad. You only live once, and you don't get to do it again. 
Bring it on 2015! What are your resolutions? :)

Thankfulness

This morning I woke up in a good and positive mood as I usually do (even though I had weird dreams involving like ALL my friends, my family and the Canary islands?!) and now I'm working on keeping these positive thoughts in my head. Isn't life so much better when you try to think happy thoughts? I think so! 
People might say "it's not as easy as it sounds" or "if you have real problems it's impossible to think happy thoughts". Well guess what? I probably have some of the worst problems out of all of us at the moment and if I manage to stay positive for a day, so can you! 
I don't care what type of situation is making you negative, it's all relative. My family is struggling to put food on the table. I'm coming out of a bad depression and I still wake up some mornings barely able to get out of bed. I have no income, no social life, no confidence left and the worst luck you can imagine. Remember that family curse I've told you about before? Well it's still there, the general rule is that if something can go wrong for me or my family, it will. Which is just icing on the cake you know when we worry constantly about money and our health and so on... 
But even though I have no reason to get out of bed in the mornings, I don't have anything to look forward to... I still do. And I manage to be positive while doing it. Because do you know what? I'm freaking thankful. I'm thankful it's not worse. 
I'm thankful that I have a family who loves and supports me. I'm thankful that we have food to eat every day, even though we barely have that. I'm thankful that I'm feeling better than I did. I'm thankful that the worst health problems I have is my coeliac disease and obesity. I'm thankful for the experiences I've had and that I've had the chance to fulfill some of my biggest dreams. I'm thankful for the people I have in my life who care about me. But most of all, I'm thankful to be alive. I'm thankful that I have a life to live and that it's up to me how I want to live it. 
I can spend all day and night complaining about the things I don't have... But it's not gonna get me anywhere. What's gonna get me somewhere is staying positive and thankful for what I DO have. I've had some real struggles and bad luck in my life... But who am I to let those things define the rest of my life? The best is yet to come! I have to believe that, or I would be fucking miserable for the rest of my life.
Believe me, it's not easy to think that way. It's a choice I make every single day when I wake up- to think positive and happy thoughts.
And be thankful for life.
And this is what makes me happy in my miserable situation. 
Now, can you say the same for yourself?