Broken Dreams

Sensitive readers be warned... Depressed post coming up... 
So... Some might say this is ironic. I say it is just plain depressing. Really depressing. Speaking of my all time favourite person Demi Lovato.. I just found out she's having a concert in Dublin this month. In Dublin. THIS MONTH. 
First of all... HOW the hell did I not know this? 
Second of all.. WHY NOW
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY......????????????????????
I don't think people really realize how big of a dream it is for me to see Demi live. She is my all time favourite musician. She is like the only person I have never gotten tired of and I absolutely love her voice. When I was in the US I was constantly hoping she would have a concert near me. And she was going to, right before I moved back to Sweden. When I went to Ireland I kept hoping she would come there since big artists usually come to Ireland before Sweden... And she didn't. And now she is. Right after I was there. I just... I can't even deal with this. If it was any other time than now I probably could have gone but right now I am absolutely broke and can't afford it. If it was any other time than now I could probably handle this situation but right now I can't. I can't control my mood at all and I can't deal with these feelings right now. I get anxiety which I can't control and quite frankly I would cry if I could. A few months ago I probably would have been bawling right now. What's even more "ironic"/awful is that if I would have known about this concert earlier and managed to go... It probably would have helped me SO much right now. It would have been just what I needed to get myself on the way of feeling better. And I would probably be genuinly happy for a while. For the first time in a long time. 
Fuck my life. All I have to say. Fuck life. 

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